NOW! vember

 I am participating!!! Thank you Felicity what a wonderful way to rejoin blogging after such a long hiatus so the statement 2. Follow Your Passion It Knows Where You Should Go.

Interesting cause I too had to muse over this for quite sometime - really cause we probably ignore passion at times and proceed in the direction we think ought to. You know proceeding into law when you really want to be a circus clown - entering a relationship with completely the wring person.

In fact the traditionally least "passionate" of my youthful affairs resulted in my now 13 year partnership - who is the love of my life and has given me the loves of my life. Passion is not how I would have described our initial courtship - however I am so very passionate about my family and probably did indeed follow my passion - for boy did it know where to go.

However on the subject of career I am jack of all trades master of none - it could be argued I have never followed my true passion never listened and let it take me it should go - but economics and adventure has often gotten in the way of perhaps being dedicated to a one true passion - but then upon reflection I simply do not have one true passion other then family and friends, I have dabbled in everything from alternative medicine, nursing, advertising to rock and roll.  At one stage I was set to pursue my passion in broadcasting..............

So with reflection,hindsight and age, I realise that so what and I am passionate about that.Keep trying, and as Felicity so eloquently wrote be creative along the way. As my mother has always said "life has a funny habit of working itself out"- kind sums up the statement follow your passion and life will work itself out. But don't get stressed about being defined by one thing let your creativity fall where it may in the mean time.

So in a long winded diatribe don't ignore passion (forget those traditional images of Hollywood passion) but don't dwell on it either just follow the fun ol' path of life and enjoy!

Meanwhile here are photo's of my path here and now.

Just a wee post script I have decided passion can also be small and numerous like my passion for good coffee and wonderful food to name a few........... but the accumulation of these can send you on a journey

WE HAVE BEEN........................

The past few weeks we have been


Receiving school awards for safety



playing with tea sets


Making grumpy trips to the art gallery


And making a quilt for Mamma and Dadda's bed


all out of a jelly roll of Japanese Fabric - I bought at a craft fair.


Pride of place on our bed - I think I will need to make matching pillow cases!


Done and Done- off to tackle an other project

A women possessed

I have developed a quilters callous trying to finish this my first quilt. Here is the reason why - about two weeks ago, I went to the Sydney quilt and stitches show, whilst discussing the use of fabric pens with a seasoned quilter - she warned me of the perils of using fabric pens (even clover) on white cotton. Apparently they leave little brown residual marks, even when laundered. So I went home with the soul purpose of FINISHING,this, my first ever quilt.

The photo's do not show it - but indeed this wise woman was right - unfortunately there are some residual brown marks - however it is slight and my eye does not rest on these mistakes. More importantly my four year daughter loves the quilt and I hope it is in her family for years to come.

Cam bam you're next my love!

IF A TREE FALLS IN THE INNER WEST DO YOU HEAR IT?

Apparently not. It has rained here in Sydney quite a bit over the last few weeks. Saturday gone - we spent the day shopping, cleaning and kid wrangling. At 6pm that evening we finally went outside to discover our most beloved tree had uprooted itself.

This wonderful tree provided shade, comfort ,beauty and love and it even disguised the building next door. But unfortunately when black wattles are in full bloom they re rather heavy and all the wet has provided no anchor for its shallow roots.

We heard nothing - granted it had rained heavily all day - but to hear nothing and to step outside and find a wall of foliage is rather surreal to say the least.

SES were called - they came the next day and chopped the ol' girl up. Gosh they were fantastic!!!!!!!!!!

My very green thumbed mother arrives from the Netherlands in 8 weeks and assures me they will fix everything . MUM'S make everything better!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here are some images of the fallen tree

Big things little boy

There he is happy - dressed up - chocolate cake - all of his favourite things for Cam Bam.

This evening after the night time drama was over - the urging to change into pyjamas - teeth to be washed and EARLY TO BED. A few late nights and he is impossible.

I crept into my babies room to check on them - Anneke out for count, great. Cameron well he was staring at his canopy of stars. Cam I whispered what's up. He replied Mama "It stays in your head and just will not go".

Panic then calm - what is in your head. Bad thoughts of dying with out you and daddy. My heart sank, his realisation of his own mortality has hit. Mine hit at 8/9 - I remember clearly it does indeed stay in your head and plays over and over.

I sang - we talked of fairies and rainbows - I talked of the love our family has in all of our hearts. I crept out of the room, shed a few tears. I had hoped that this would be a few years away and that my Husband was not working late.

There are times that I feel he is growing faster then I can keep up - But then isn't that our job to keep them in dress ups, facepaint, silly songs and choclate cake for as long as possible.

Failed Creations

Not everything I visualise works and I am finding a kind of thrill in the unexpected rather then being horribly down on myself when it all goes wrong.

You see we have this beautiful table - a table I bought in Leiden - and I must preface, my poor suffering Graham had very little input - he hadn't even seen the apartment we bought - as the market was sooooo aggressive a decision had to be made immediately. Luckily Graham trusts me!

As we had no furniture, it was all in storage in Australia, we had to furnish our beautiful new apartment(we still miss that place 2 and half years later) . The Apartment was about 400 years old and rather like a warehouse - I chose a round table that could fit up to 10 people.

Graham fell in love with the table - more then I ever did - but tables are funny things - I have decided in some ways they are the most important piece of furniture in the house. Pre children many a fine meal, wine and raucous debate occurred around that table. Christmases celebrated, birthdays cheered and even tears have been shed around the this table.

Songs have been sung around this table - laughter and joy are now in grained in its wood.

This table holds the memories of a family from its conception to its continuing growth. Post kids the table was part of my baby massage classes - decisions made to return to Australia - more tears lots of tears.

Now the table has an entire room in our small cottage (the apartment is larger then house) and aside from hosting the requisite Sunday dinners, it is our craft table, drawing table - display table.

I nearly wept when my cousin from Leiden was over to visit us and sighed when he saw the table"how I have missed this table" he said "many a good meal was eaten around this table".

To my surprise - Graham told me we need to protect the table - please ing lets find something to protect it - from the scissors the glue and general kids stuff. Ah uh, I am on to it. Yesterday I put the plan in action.

I had previously got the kids to draw and decorate over a large piece of calico. I then attempted to sew some PVC plastic (you know the stuff you buy by the metre as table cloths) over the top. The little engine that couldn't, was my sewing machine and had to abandon the project half way through.

It still adorns the table - and kind of seems fitting that it does - as this table has been witness success and failure in the history of our family .

I think next time I would use double side Velcro to attach the plastic to the cloth - or perhaps dispense with the cloth altogether and move onto the next project

Who KNEW

Newborns, well mine, were easy beautiful creatures - both slept 20 hours a day until about 6months. 2 years fine sunshine. But then 3 hits and I have a stubborn determined monsters on my hand.

But then I look upon this photo and remind myself of the Angel with in and to gather and use my patience. Perhaps the list of things will have to wait while I work out the next dilemma in my little girls life.

THE CALL OF THE THIRD

I gaze upon this photo with joy and sadness - to see the cousins together spurns my desire to have another to giddy heights. You see three is my magic number - I am born on the third, it is my lucky number, three is a prime number and prime numbers just ROCK......... three is the magic number.

Here is the kicker - my pregnancies nearly kill, quite literally. My last pregnancy resulted in extended hospitalisation. many blood transfusions - loads of drugs preventing me from breastfeeding after six weeks, excessive uncontrolled weight gain (despite being on a strict horrible diet) and three (there is that wonderful number again) years later my body quite literally thinks it is still pregnant and oh the places I have gone for treatment. I have residual lactation, weight and various other post-partum complications.

I would do it all again for an other, however, my long suffering husband refuses to go there again! Fair enough it was not so nice to see me so sick and I think perhaps he was actually very scared for both myself and Anneke . Anyways next year is the big 40 and time is running out - so I instead gaze upon this photo wistfully - what could have been huh. It was so lovely to play with Cousin Tijs for the day for he is one massive cutie, and hopefully we might sneek a sleep over or two on his own before he returns to Amsterdam.

Perhaps my appointment with the Endocrinologist this morning, may herald a new treatment in the offer and the chance to have a third for my 40th...........

images of easter

Cam at his Easter hat parade


the first chocolate of the Easter break


the accumulative work of 15 kids at an Easter egg decorating gathering!


the hunt is on!!!!!!!!!!!!


success !!!


Cousin Tijs came to visit from Amsterdam - my children have only 2 cousins - this wonderful little soul and his equally wonderful baby brother. This little man and my sister were the best Easter surprise!!!


rides at the easter show


more rides


still more


a 2 week old alpaca and its mother at the easter show

A fun full time had by all

MY FIRST BORN IS 5

How did this happen ? - he was born into the quivering arms of my husband - who whispered gently "anything you want you shall have" - he was then clothed by my mother who claimed never to have seen a baby so ready for the world. And when he returned to my breast I told him " I knew I loved you before I had even met you" and " I need to make you a friend"

He was a baby full of grace - he slept the night through from 5 weeks. I Look back at his Kraamtijd (nursing time) as one of shear love. He would wake at 6 in the morning for a feed and then we would sleep through to 10 in the morning - the sheets smelt sweetly of breast milk.

It was such a special indulgent time and I am very lucky I had this experience, no colic, no fussing - just able to enjoy that beautiful special time reserved for the first child. I can not believe he is no longer a baby.

A pirate party was our way to celebrate!!!

A great day had by all me hearties!


brother and sister


Thoughtful pirate cam


Cam and his pirate dad


victory at the tug of war



the cake



blood and daggers cupcakes



The party favours - shrinky dink zipper pulls and a peg doll



The party bag will post about them more later

two and a half

It has been two and a half years since we left the Netherlands and almost a year since our last visit. And whilst life here in Sydney is great and we all seem to have found our mojo and rhythm again - it is at this time of year I yearn for Leiden, my dear family& dear friends.

This is my favourite time of year over there everything is ready to burst into magnificent colour.

Here is a small collection of my favourite photos from our last trip circa Easter 2008 .