DAY 20 Be Your Own Hero

Is it a plane? is it a train? is it?????? no its mum with a packet of band aids and a cuddle.

This was one of the surprising aspects of motherhood just what a hero you are to those children ( really giving birth is a heroic act in itself) and how that only remains for a whisper of minute - before you are uncool and quite frankly just a mum who yells and screams for chores to be done.

So my advice to all those about to become mums - nourish this period, guard it and celebrate it.

That's what motherhood amongst the wrinkles and misshapen body has given me -  superhero qualities.

DAY 19 Take Time Out Often

Rules of engagement for the Turners ultimate day OFF or as we know it the Pyjama day.

1. Make sure there are no activities planned, no guest anticipated and people that arrive unexpectedly leave or join us in a day on the couch.

2. No food preparation should take longer then 10min for the entire day.

3. Showering is deemed unnecessary unless of course you are taking a relaxing soak in the tub only to retire back into your pyjamas

4. Great movies are hired or classics are re run - there is no time limit on TV for this day.

5. Rain is a must on these days

6. blocks for building amazing cities and castles also a must

7. no craft - I do not want to clean up on these days

8. Books loads of books

9. If it is summer loads of mangoes

10. Enjoy

DAY 18 Nourish Your Mind And Body

I love coffee - looooooooooooooooove coffee - like really love coffee and you know what I probably drink too much. But there is something so wonderful about the smell and taste of coffee that tingles and nourishes my soul.  A cup of delicious coffee around the table with friends -  love it. 

Between you and me - I loved my student days hung over clutching a coffee, the paper and a cigarette I felt so inner city art student. Okay the cigarettes clearly had to go - BUT NOT THE COFFEE.

So the above is a homage to what nourishes my mind and body - my work space with bag of coffee in proud display amongst a messy wonderful work table.

TRAVEL Play MAT

PRETTY BABY ON TOP

.

Okay if you are worried about rope and babies - this is not the play mat for you - however my baby the wriggle glow worm that she is has not tangled at all - further more I left the gaps rather small and there is no slack on the rope when the play mat is out -

Okay lets start - I wanted it to like a cracked egg kinda of sort of..

 I cut out two oblong circles approximately 39 inches in in width

I then Cut two other oblong circles 5-6 inches smaller in width

 I cut double thick batting to measure

 Then created the quilt sandwich

 I then free motion zig zag around the edge and inserted twill loop 4inches apart around the entire circumference of oblong circle

 I then free motion quilted the other two circles on top and quilted a flower on the smallest circle - but of course this open to so many wonderful interpretations.

DRAWN AND READY TO GO -

17. Simplicity Is Key

I have decided this is one of my life lessons and the reason I am a day late is I am not keeping it simple - I am frantic busy with projects trying to launch a sewing and craft school- quilt orders - sewing orders - leaving parties arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am in over my head with less then two weeks before we leave - for the Netherlands

On top of the mounting pile of work -  my partner is working crazy busseeee hours and I have done the witching hour on my own now for what seems like forever.  And, now my house is falling down around us the dishwasher has packed it in - the tv antenna broken and no longer picks up digital signals - plumbing issues - garden issues - sewing machine issues blah blah blah.

Last night I watched my kids play - they could play for the Olympics my kids - it occurred to me who cares if I have wash the dishes by had or rather my  husband has to wash them by hand no biggy.  TV - well we do still get the ABC and SBS all we need really . I like watching a movie anyways so we can hire or down load.  Plumbing -  deal with it when we return - my sewing machine (I have three) deal with it when we get back - the ironing I have to get over that (life is tooooooo short to iron as much as I do).

I have to learn to not over commit - KEEP IT SIMPLE INGRID.  But you know what I am the kinda of person that more is more.  You know when I decorate for Christmas it looks like Santa vomited Christmas over my house - when I throw a party I hand make the party favours, you get the picture I make my life overly busy at times.

A bit of simplicity for 2011 - once I take down those Christmas Decorations.....

She keeps it simple oh why can't I

DAY 15 Embrace Online Business & DAY 16 Believe In Yourself

See for me the two are completely connected a the moment - I am trying to develop a sewing school and craft kinda of business.  Now days an online presence helps enormously -I can direct people to my blog to see my portfolio of work - host tutorials - you get the idea.

Thing is loads of people are doing this now and the trick is to believe in my self not listen to the doubt in my head and go forth - on top of trying to run a house and kids and get ready to go home to mum for 6 weeks in 2 weeks. arghhhhhhhhhhhh I feel overwhelmed and quite scared of the whole process.

You see I am surrounded by writers, costume designers and  many other enormously talented people - not to diminish my talents it is sometimes hard to believe in yourself when you are surrounded by what you consider greatness.

However, I am really trying this time to push it aside and move forth..........

okay I have to finish 3 quilts by Friday so I am off like a bucket of prawns in the Sydney summer sun

14. Ignore Doubters, Even When They're In Your Own Head

My first thought is don't ignore them - As believe it not I am a very cautious person as are my children - even my long suffering husband is ultra cautious.  We all listen to the doubt in our heads.

The kids do not climb that tree (until they know it inside out)the branch may brake.

I was cautious to write a blog my writing is not as good as my in-laws,  my photo's are not as good as...., my craft could be better .............you get the picture. 

My husband could easily write a book but is paralysed with a mixture of fear and procrastination.

We family listen to voices loud and clear whilst they offer resistance they offer comfort and protection as well.

However - we have lived all over the world - where were the voices then - we threw caution to the wind and had a third baby despite all medical and non medical recommendations not to.  So perhaps I am not as cautious as I think????

Here is the other thing I have been working for two wonderful women who have become advocates for mental health care - when I first read this point I immediately thought of the amazing people I have met with severe depression and mental health issues who can not get rid of the voices and doubters in their head and in fact this is a symptom they should seek immediate attention for.

So where has this diatribe lead me - if I had of listened I would not have this - my Sarah Ruth Turner - I am thankful we ignored the doubters cause I am a Queen as I have the three best kiddo's in the world (of course they do not include yours cause we all have the best kiddo's)  

Do it NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I shout yell scream at the kids no I beg - please just do it  now or you will have to leave the house naked. And on a hot sticky Sydney day like today the answer is always - well that sounds better then clothes.

Time pressure urges me to influence the kids to get ready for school, swimming, music etc etc.

But you know what my favourite day of all is?  That cold winters day -  you know on the weekend where nothing is planned except a  PJ day - I indulge the kids with their favourite DVD's and we mooch about all day drinking hot chocolate and not once do I ask them to get out of their PJ's or pick up their toys.

Gosh I have probably been known to request takeaway that evening to make it the ultimate PJ day.

12. Collect Experiences, Not Things

This a hard one for me to write as I am an avid collector of both, things and experiences. And also Felicity wrote - quite frankly the perfect piece on the subject

Of course if the house burnt down the only thing I would want is our health and safety.

Like Felicity the older I get the less inclined to shopping and things I become (except for my fabric stash - she with the largest when she dies wins you know).

We five live in a three bedroom cottage the kids shock horror all share as one of the rooms is a study work room and quite frankly not ready to give it up for a place some one sleeps in - so I have become rather ruthless at throwing stuff out.  I could be a  hoarder so any school fete I donate to the trash and treasure store and as much as possible. Almost to the point where my partner has to hold me back.

MY travels and life abroad has afforded me the opportunity to have beautiful things and often my experiences are part of those things.

But I find I am also trashing some of those unfortunate experiences in life and realise my memory is increasing selective about what experiences it chooses to remember.

I digress - So I am careful not to completely throw  every thing out as there a memories and experiences attached with them- Like my Pallet of plates the Pallet I found outside our apartment in Leiden - Graham had to ask our neighbour to help carry it as it was frozen solid. They bonded over my lunacy and became very dear  friends as a result.  I sanded and varnished the said  Pallet and now it holds a collection of plates from our travels in Europe.I even dragged it back with me from The Netherlands cause of the memories it holds.

However like Felicity I am trying to gift experiences rather then things - hard to do with our imminent return for Christmas to  Europe - so the compromise I am making things of use - Pot holders. Lets hope they experience making some good food with them and not adding to their collections of junk ............

above is my beloved pallet

Day 11 Lessons from the past to guide the 'now'...

Dear Felicity I am not sure if this is the topic of the day - but I like it better then the one in the column.

Apparently -funding for History in Universities is the lowest it has ever been and the popularity of modern and ancient History is at a all time low.

Many moons ago, way back in the early 90's I saw Henry Rollins numerous times do his spoken word thang - I had the good fortunate to witness a press call after one of these performances - They were talking about prejudiced, racist and intolerant people.  He basically advocated that complete intolerance to racist, prejudiced people - is what needs to occur in order for society to evolve. He was aiming this at people who have a particular problem with Gay rights -  and he was - lets just say a little more eloquent then I.

I kinda of really agree with him - the recent election had me in tears regarding the boat people and saw me posting quite proudly left wing sentiments on my face book page urging people to consider the past and guide us now. No one seemed to actually tell the public that in fact it is not illegal to be a refugee and that we signed a world treaty in the 1950's allowing safe passage and refuge for Asylum seekers. Lets not forget to mention women's health, gay marriage etc etc

We are too busy looking forward that no one wants to study or consider the past the lessons learnt or gained form those who have been where we have been. I have married into a family of historians and writers (I never let them read my stuff they are far too clever and grammatically correct) - they are considered measured people - something the study of history has given them I am sure.

It was not that long ago that a degree in History was considered a necessity to enter politics- Why are we so keen to move forward with out looking at the mistakes of the past COME BACK HISTORY we miss you ....

Post script - I did not mean to out myself as a boho champagne socialist - but there you have it I'm out

POST post script Felicity I just re read your wonderful post you did indeed 'Define what success looks like for you and then go after it.'  And you are so  correct peace is what is important and a great measure of success so have decided to leave this post in support of yours - as this post was influenced by you and need to strive for Peace.

10. Make Your Own Path

When we returned from the Netherlands we left a goegeous 500 year old warehouse with no garden not even a balcony - to reside in the very last suburb of the inner west in a small cottage with a rather large sized garden.

Paths had been forged into the landscape of this garden but further work was needed. Have you every tried to build a stone path on your own it is very bloody difficult. Expertise is required wisdom of how to lay the initial foundation - materials needed - the list goes on.

Thankfully when my mother and her husband my wonderful stepfather visit number one on their agenda is to help us.  Their first visit was 6 weeks after we had moved in and my dear stepfather built and restored the garden paths in this house.  He taught us maintenance and care and when they left the garden and its paths were in great shape.
 
Every visit they make is heralded with a new project - and with the help of family and friends we have managed to create and maintain a delightful cottage - Sure there is a long way to go  - but what I now know is you need help and tutelage to build the paths in your life.

Below are an Opa and his grandson building paths together.

9. Carve A Niche Get It Out There

I Have tried the following professions

Optical Dispenser

Band Manager

A&R rock talent person

Aromatherapy 

State politics 

Venue management 

Advertising 

The list kind of goes on but lets end it there for the sake of my embarrassment.

Basically professionally I am a sales person whether  I am selling rock bands advertising or essential oils I am kinda good at helping guide people to a decision.

I have taken numerous art classes and really I drop things or they drop me. 

However, I seem to be okay at motherhood - Do not ask my children that today - last night I was mean mean mean Mummy at bed time.  I am told I am a very loyal friend.  So is my niche people - perhaps I should have done nursing (which I got into) all those years ago when I first finished school - rather then thinking I wanted to enter a world of high end economics.  Really a very silly decision - you see I did not get into law like I wanted (a reasoning that I am still flummoxed by to this day). So I took a gap year ended up studying Optical Dispensing  cause I was working for an Optician and they encouraged me to do so and Voila no career niche or path.

No point crying over spilt milk I am currently trying to develop my crafting skills and  along with an other woman we a developing sewing  and crafting classes from children to adults (MORE ON THAT LATER).

So my niche has never been carved out and it is a constant journey for me - As I get older I do regret some of my decisions - However I am sooooooooooo lucky and blessed with my family and even when I am a mean Mummy or nagging wife I know would never leave them for a career in high end economics - but a weekend away every now and then.................... 

Examples of my latest niche lets hope this one takes cause I kinda of really like this one!

8. Everything You Want And Need Is Up To You To Make Happen

I asked my son this morning what he would like for dinner - after a weekend of imbibing junk food he thought long and hard and replied sausages with broccoli and peas and tomatoe  sauce - Exactly what he needs a healthy balanced meal he asked and it will happen.

I believe trust is the corner of all relationships and it occurred (thank you again Felicity for making me think) to me that trust in yourself is the most important relationship you could have. Trust in what you want and truly need - and then you can make it happen.

I struggle with this sometimes as in my 4. Explore, Play, Laugh, Enjoy post is this an indulgent western desire of mine.  So I trust that I can help those less fortunate us with more volunteer and charitable work.

You Have To Put Something Out There To Get Something Back

Before my blogging hiatus I wrote a post about the fact I had a yearning desire for a third but my age and previous complicated pregnancies meant "danger will robinson"

I put it our there  look what I got 

And the pregnancy  -  it was tough however thanks to my amazing endocrinologist I only gained 4 kilos - was her star patient and breezed through the best labour ever and more importantly look what WE got...... 

However be careful what you put out there....................

Set and Celebrate Milestones

So if you ask when I was married I will have to pull my wedding band off my finger to check the inscription.  How old is my baby - ahhhhhhhhh I think 6 months.... So on the surface of it I do not place much importance in milestones - very rarely do I acknowledge an anniversary  - I'm pretty relaxed about this kind of stuff.

However,  I do love a celebration and being Dutch birthdays are of particular importance even if I have to tattoo my children's birth date to my forehead.  However the day is is celebration - a party is planned and a big deal is made of all those in the family and the Birthday person.

What of other milestone's our wedding is a biggy cause we married after the first two children were born - so why marry.  Mainly because we were leaving the Netherlands 5 days later and wanted it as a farewell and affirmation of the love we had there.  I had lost the initial desire to marry - Graham was always reluctant - and I thank him for this - had we married when we first met I would have been a total princess bridzilla and let me tell you  9 month post partum bodies of traumatic pregnancies do not allow you to float down an aisle in a chiffon number from some French designer - instead I had to harness myself into a dress with a crow bar.

Also finances meant that no over the top expenditure could be spent - It resulted in one of the most delightful days of my life surrounded by friends and family. The love was fantastic, there were tears from everyone (cause we were leaving) but so much laughter to make it better.  There was fine wine great food and most importantly wonderful people.

The day was not with out problems - My dear friend Rixt had organised a photographer - whom unfortunately had gotten sick - she then very diligently organised a replacement.  The replacement 10min before arriving at our house stormed out for reasons unknown to any of us - all very weird.  However this caused my lovely friend great anguish - as I was getting ready - my other friend Sarah whose children were our flower girls - approached "Ingrid I have something to tell you and you will not like it" - she tells me the story - finishing with Rixt is sobbing in that car.  I promise hand on heart all thoughts of having no photographer left immediately - Sarah you tell Rixt to dry her eyes it is more important for me to have her at my wedding happy and ready to celebrate. 

I really did not care - and thanks to digital cameras we had loads photo's - but more importantly I did not lose sight of the importance of celebrating a milestone.

So, I suppose what I am trying say often we dismiss the importance of celebrating milestones, but you know what I think having the people you love bear witness to moments in your life makes us happy.

move it move it

I looooooooooooved Felicity's post on this and today funnily enough has been one foot in front of the other perpetual motion - right now I have a dear friend using a power blaster water thingy cleaning our dear little cottage. 

A locksmith is changing our locks - my dear husband had his crumpler bag stolen this morning so movement and action was needed to correct wrongs. I do not want to dwell on the negative too much as my post on Explore, Play, Laugh, Enjoy was a bit deep and heavy.

I am making endless cups of coffee for people in motion and ironing - I hate ironing but I hate laundry baskets full of ironing MORE.  So energy begets energy and empty laundry baskets make me blissfully stress free.

Thanks to my lovely friend and the high pressure hose the house is like new again. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I am lovin the clean and tidy thang so very much after a day of moving it.

QUICKEST TOTE IN THE WEST

These are simple quick charming little box totes perfect gifts for mothers and daughters - for our trip back, to visit my family in the Netherlands.

Also a great thank you presents for lovely people whom have helped our family this year.

Tools
fabric 

Twill 

Sewing machine

1.Cut two pieces 12 x 18 inch of fabric and try and make one of duck cloth thickness for thickness.

2. Fold inhalf and sew approx 1/2inch seam

3. Box the ends 4.5inch and DO NOT cut as adds a further stabilising effect to base of tote

4. Do for both peices of fabric 

5. Cut staps 14incch I always use twill simple and fast

6.  Right sides facing each pin straps approx 1.5 - 2  inches from side seam 

4. Sew and leave opening at side seam 

5 . Turn Inside out and iron - be sure iron in-between all steps 

6. top stitch 3 to 4 rows from top 

7. Enjoy 
 I thought perhaps I would do a wee giveaway leave a comment regarding favourite colour and will send one out to a lucky reader in two weeks with some felt bag jewellery.

Explore, Play, Laugh, Enjoy

I have thought long and hard about this - and love that Felicity is making me think again - rather the worry about the fiduciary stuff of life, you know nappies, shoes, lunches.

The obvious to the above is MORE - more exploration more play more laughter more enjoyment.  But hang on what a western notion - what of those poor beings rifling through toxic rubbish dumps in third world countries. Do they ponder the above I suspect not.

My dear dear Opa (grandfather)  lived and continues to live a grand life with out too much of anything - as he said too much of anything is bad for you. When you think about it - this is true - too much sugar bad - even too many vegetables - I once met a patient ( alternative medicine days) who went orange from eating too many carrots.

Can the same be said of the above? I think yes too much exploration leads to unstable feet, too much play leads to an inability of anything getting done - I ask my children who yearn for unstructured play to adhere to the basic rule of one mess at a time and to bed with tidy house - Imagine the chaos of constant  unstructured play with out consequences  - Too much laughter sure more laughter great but there are times that laughter is quite frankly highly inappropriate and perhaps the serious side of life is required we can not joke ourselves through everything - Too much enjoyment conjures imagines of the Roman empire and the quest for enjoyment caused Rome to burn to the ground.

Too much of the above can send you on a path of selfishness not enough and life just ain't worth living. 

So here is what I suggest when you explore something new do so with grace for example travelling to a new country use your manners learn please and thank you in their language.

Play with consideration and make sure to include those that want to be and do force someone that doesn't to play with you.

Laugh with others and at yourself (which I regularly do ) - but mindful not to be  laughing at someone.

And Enjoy with dignity - do not let it get out of hand or excessive remember there are others in this world with precious little enjoyment..

So says she - she who has been known to enjoy an excess of everything -  all in moderation huh 

Cam and Anneke at play -   I love this photo - taken two years ago - I think it shows the joy of unstructured play 

HELP ME IF YOU CAN

Big Topic Felicity big topic.

This topic resonates with at the moment, as recently there were times in my life upon for example upon returning from the Netherlands, four years ago  (we lived there for 7 years had the first two babies there) that I really needed help from my old friends and quite frankly only a handful stepped up to the plate - I was too needy- too angry - too grumpy-  too hard to deal with and really they could not be bothered.  No empathy was used I'd just left my entire family (long story my mother educated us in Australia then returned to the Netherlands) great house and community - arrived back to no house - no friends and John conservative Howard still in government.

Let me preface,  I have been brought to always make a little extra in case a visitor should turn up - and what a great way to live your life there is always something extra for someone else even if it means you do with out. Can I also say those friends that did step up to the plate have commented and delighted in watching me cope and leave my depressed self to a happily settled and contented person - okay some of the time. Our relationships are so much stronger for them being there.

We also just recently lost my husband's father - I was 5 months pregnant and as Felicity commented I got help from people in the form of sympathy not empathy - and you know what I did not want it. I felt like they were almost disaster tourists.  My only concern was my Husband. I actually had to grow up and this time it was not about me but about me helping my family. I felt that they were helping cause they wanted to be part of the drama - I did not want to "talk" the help I needed was basic - meals - child care etc  So when you offer help make sure it is empathetic and what they need not what you want to give.

So here is what I know about help today - generally it is the same people that help and the rest turn their backs.  Our Parents assoc. has the same core members that work at the cake stalls etc each time.  I have no problem with this, however, when we are cleaning up I often wonder when the other parents are watching us clean without offering to help - what message this sends to the children.  you see my heart sung with joy when as we were leaving for the Halloween school dance -  baby in one arm, my son and I carrying a gazillion brownies in all other spare arms - He commented "it's true mum you know,  what Mr Liston(headmaster) said - you and the other mum's that always help are great - you always help mum I like that".  OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES, how wonderful that he sees us involved helping grow and nourish a community.

We have all become a little self involved - recently I had a blazing row with a person whom had chosen not to have children and was exceptionally derisive at the extra help we received from the government and work place to accommodate having children.  I ended the argument with one day one of my children could be your  your nurse, Doctor, fireman or even accountant - but in order for this to happen we need HELP from the greater community so that one day we can HELP you when you need it.

So charity begins at Home and maybe even closer than that in you Heart.

An other post script - isn't funny or maybe not - how we help our children to help themselves and not necessarily with what they want."some one wipe my bum" screams my middle child - now to help teach her to wipe her bum before she starts school next year....................

NOW! vember

 I am participating!!! Thank you Felicity what a wonderful way to rejoin blogging after such a long hiatus so the statement 2. Follow Your Passion It Knows Where You Should Go.

Interesting cause I too had to muse over this for quite sometime - really cause we probably ignore passion at times and proceed in the direction we think ought to. You know proceeding into law when you really want to be a circus clown - entering a relationship with completely the wring person.

In fact the traditionally least "passionate" of my youthful affairs resulted in my now 13 year partnership - who is the love of my life and has given me the loves of my life. Passion is not how I would have described our initial courtship - however I am so very passionate about my family and probably did indeed follow my passion - for boy did it know where to go.

However on the subject of career I am jack of all trades master of none - it could be argued I have never followed my true passion never listened and let it take me it should go - but economics and adventure has often gotten in the way of perhaps being dedicated to a one true passion - but then upon reflection I simply do not have one true passion other then family and friends, I have dabbled in everything from alternative medicine, nursing, advertising to rock and roll.  At one stage I was set to pursue my passion in broadcasting..............

So with reflection,hindsight and age, I realise that so what and I am passionate about that.Keep trying, and as Felicity so eloquently wrote be creative along the way. As my mother has always said "life has a funny habit of working itself out"- kind sums up the statement follow your passion and life will work itself out. But don't get stressed about being defined by one thing let your creativity fall where it may in the mean time.

So in a long winded diatribe don't ignore passion (forget those traditional images of Hollywood passion) but don't dwell on it either just follow the fun ol' path of life and enjoy!

Meanwhile here are photo's of my path here and now.

Just a wee post script I have decided passion can also be small and numerous like my passion for good coffee and wonderful food to name a few........... but the accumulation of these can send you on a journey

It has been a while

Yes it has been a while - you see the thing of it is I got my self up the duff last year and as I previously mentioned my previous pregnancies are hard work with loads of complications. So being pregnant is a huge commitment weekly to twice weekly hospital visits - However hard work, love and support brought us this divine little creature SARAH RUTH TURNER.

The birth was amazing - everything just amazing really -who would think we could go back to the nappy thang at our age - but between you and me WE LOVE IT and who wouldn't take a look at these chops



So the other thing I have been up to is loads of quilting so here are the quilts on our beds at the moment.

Anneke's quilt

Cameron's quilt

A quilt end

A quilt in the making

a just because quilt

picture quilt ready to be quilted

An other picture quilt

These cot sized are for sale at

http://www.karimu.com.au

the quilt I made for sarah during all my gazillion hospital visits

spare bed quilt

 my latest creation bag jewellery and will be posting a tutorial about this later.